One of the things I always enjoy looking at are old advertisements. They tell you a lot about cultural values, and are a big part of memories (I loved the Kit Kat Pandas as a child) for some of us.

They also tell you what crafters thought was important in a yarn. Nowadays, we have the soy-bamboo-hemp-silk-organic-variegated goodness. But back in 1972, it was a different story. I give you...Phentex!

A lot of things? Such as 'making your children look like Big Bird'? Apparently not:

Yup, you read that right- polypropylene! I wonder what kind of 'swinging' would get done in a Phentex bikini?

Scientific yarn? Really? Perhaps I could knit a conical flask out of it...

I would imagine it IS durable. That stuff looks like it would be all that was left after a nuclear winter, except for cockroaches.

Who drips iodine onto yarn? Is this some kind of 70s version of kool-aid dyeing?

Know what? Given the last part of the list I'm not surprised. I think I hear Elizabeth Zimmermann turning in her grave...

Ah! Is this perhaps a cunning yarn designed to force one to knit a gauge swatch?

The water test? Like...phentex dunking? Are its strange properties in fact the result of black magic, instead of it being made of plastic? Because I sure as hell wouldn't want to risk burning that stuff.

Well, it's good to know even moths have standards.

Including Muppet Yellow and Soylent Green.

TWEEDS? You made TWEEDS of this yarn?

And be careful if it touches your skin...it's sort of like the yarn equivalent of Venom, of Spiderman fame...

Hey, I'm not scared of sneezing or wheezing. I am kinda scared of this yarn, though...

Yes! You spend a lot less on yarn when people stop asking you to make stuff for them in case you make it out of Phentex...

Protection against soiling? But you just spent a page telling us how it doesn't stain or get wet!

If it's not available you'll make sure I get some?....

You don't do Wollmeise as well, do you?

Macramania

So I've been away for a little while. Sorry to keep you waiting, folks! But I'm back with a real treat. Well, I think it's a treat, anyway. It's time for a spot of Macrame...

Is it a necklace? Is it a collar? Is it some kind of bib designed to have the same effect as a beaded car-seat cover, but on your bazooms? Who knows? Whatever it is, you have to wonder: if they followed Chanel's rule about jewellery- put on the jewellery you're intending to wear, then take one piece off- what was removed?